Knowing

Sometimes, it can seem like those who have ‘known’ us our entire lives have no idea who we truly are. What does it even mean to know someone? There is a difference between being known and being seen. Knowing is surface - your job, your shoe size, where you went to school. To be seen runs far deeper and exists on a far more enchanting level: your hopes, your humour, your desires, what motivates you above all else. And where the two intersect - that intricate place where true connection blooms - well, that's also where I feel most at home. 

There are things only you can see: my eyes closing as I take that first sip of Billecart-Salmon. Pleasure rippling across my face. My eyes twinkle. My bitten lip. Your hand gliding down my silk blouse, coming to rest in the small of my back. That’s one of the reasons I enjoy this diversion of mine. As much fun as my encounters are, they are also life-affirming. That might seem mysterious, but nothing compares to that connection, how utterly understood I feel under a lover’s gaze. After all, when we give in to our truest impulses, we not only come to know each other profoundly, but ourselves as well.

Desire is not a question of chance. We are drawn to people for a reason. The rhythms of a certain pulse respond to our own, call out to our most primal instincts. One look, we're lost to it. Nor is desire a zero-sum game. A winner. A loser. No - desire is an exchange, one in which participants are utterly absorbed in each other, even if only for a day, an hour, a moment, a glimpse. 

Attraction, of course, is powerful. Perhaps more alluring, though, is that promise of connection. A world of understanding can be contained in a glance, so much said without uttering a word. It happens all too rarely, but when it does, the charge is unmistakable: you pass someone on the street, stand next to them in the elevator, lose them to the crowd. These moments are precious and deserve to be seized. That magnetic stranger you long to talk to, the one whose coy smile you picture hours after they've disappeared. Did you imagine the frisson? Did they feel it too? And in that moment, did you know each other?

AH